Feb 152015

A Hearty Welcome!

Who are we? What are we? Why are we? Are we?

Indeed we are! This is not a Fae illusion nor a product of your Hogsnuffling fertilised imagination!

This . . . is . . . drumroll please . . . THE Oddball Scribbler!

Here it is . . . the very firtht issue of the Oddball Thcribbler. Fliff it! The thcribblebot’th got issueth thith morning. I thought the botineerth had thorted it. Thtupid bot. Bear with me, after thome therious complaining I have now got the über botineer coming to fix it tho all should be well very thoon dear readerth.

I can at leatht welcome you while I thort thith meth out. Welcome!

In our inaugural issue there will be news items (thank Fliff, the bot has corrected itself) to cater for all interests. For those of you who, like me, have a barnacle problem on your dinky sea-faring dirigible then the latest of Lee & Ardo Der Flinchy’s gadgets and gizmos will gladden your anchor sunken heart. Agonised Aunt Arielle will answer readers’ personal pleas for help in her inimitable fashion AND we will give you in-depth editorials on topics such as: “How to Prepare Yourself for a Creepaloid Apocalypse’, or perhaps you might be more interested in finding out whether the Thnotman really exthitht (brap that bot!). Or, reading thome thurprithing revelationth ath to the hidden conthpirathieth (aargh, thith ith untenable!) in Hodge Podge might be more to your liking.

We want to open your eyeth. We want to keep you informed. We want to throttle the thribblebot! And we need thought filters!

Other quethtions such ath . . . ith there a subversive political plot by the Pendragon to enthlave the inhabitantth of Oddball? Why are the polithe tho inept at catching the notoriouth criminalth we have at large? And . . . motht importantly where ith that fliffing botineer?

These (yes!) burning questions will be answered and more. In the meantime, I am tho thorry about the thcribblos (a sharp intake of breath ath hair ith being torn out). Not very professional, I know, but rest assured dear readers (phew!) all will be resolved. Oh, the irony! The engineer has arrived just when normal transmission has been resumed!

So hard to stay on message when the bots mess with you, such is the life of a scribbler. Sigh!

Anyway, if you would like to suffer as much as this scribbler and make welcome, and needed contributions, to this oustanding publication then go to the ‘Submissions‘ page and write me a magiqh mail.

In the meantime, enjoy dear readers, enjoy!

Signing off – Ed